With 25 closing in, I’ve felt a mix of emotions. Mostly dread. For the longest time I hated birthdays simply because it meant I was racking another year into my life. I remember thinking 14 was the perfect age to stay forever. HA! Now, I’m thinking 24 is the golden spot, but my time with that sweet number is up.

So in honor of the upcoming landmark and parting ways with my favorite age, I’ll reflect on some things I’ve learned in general/about myself and progressed in since my last birthday.

24 has taught me…

-More about the power of writing to understand myself. Reading had always been my favorite activity and method of escape, but writing as I continue to learn is a more powerful way to let my emotions out.

-Also that I’m a lazy SOB when it comes to sitting down and actually writing for myself. It has been pretty encouraging hearing randomly that people do like reading my writing. So if you read my blog, please come out from behind the curtain and pump my ego up. Maybe it’ll encourage me to write more weekly than monthly as I’ve been doing…

-Feeling, nervous, jittery, or ANTSY? Yeah, I always thought it was ancy like dancy…. I somehow went 24 years of this not clicking until now despite my obsessive reading habit.

-To further appreciate the love and support I have for my family and friends.

– That I can walk away from feeling uncomfortable without regret.

-There are times when I should feel uncomfortable. In appropriate situations that will help me grow as a person and connect with others.

-Following above, I can’t expect to improve my Spanish if I’m too embarrassed to practice. GROW KAYLA, GROW!

-I’m nowhere near perfect at it, but at least I get the concept of driving stick. Will you get whiplash and a destroyed clutch if I ever drive your manual? Probably.

-Making myself happy has priority over anything else, but that also doesn’t mean I can be an inconsiderate asshole.

-Overthinking will drive you crazy, so stop it! (I’m still terrible at this) Indecision is just as bad, but I am trying to work on it.

-You can always start over–on your make up for the night, a new book you don’t quite understand, or even in a city where you don’t know anyone.

-I will probably never stop being afraid of the dark.

-The travel bug has fully bitten me in the ass, making me ANTSY to go see more of the world.

-Just because you can get a dog doesn’t mean you should. I am finally at the age and scenario where I can own a dog, but I know that I’d rather travel and not have the restriction.

-I shouldn’t be embarrassed of myself. I’m clumsy, flawed, airy at times and imperfect. Everyone has their faults. This year especially taught me that I shouldn’t be embarrassed when my good intentions and decisions don’t work out as smoothly as I intended. There’s no shame in trying, loving, or putting yourself out there.

-I can’t eat pasta twice a day for an entire summer without running and still look like the twig I was in college. I can still enjoy said daily dose of pasta if I move my ass.

-I also can’t go 9 months without lifting and expect to put up the same weights as I did in college. My legs are sore from  squatting 65 pounds….my former track self weeps…

-It can be difficult to make friends outside of college and work, but not impossible. The amount of times I’ve asked for a girl’s number or slid into her DMs since I’ve moved out here is astronomical. Not really–I just wanted to use that word. I do, however, reach out to other women because I live in a new city and hell yeah I want girlfriends! If you’re in my situation, then I suggest to do it and don’t be intimidated.

-Having a pet die will break your heart like nothing else.

-No matter how old I am, I will always get extremely homesick when I’m physically sick. Having the chicken pox and bronchitis in a foreign country brought out the tears. When someone in my family is also sick or hurt I get this feeling too that I need to drop everything and go home.

-I read in a book this year that “every time you come home, there’s a little less to come back to”–a topic I’d like to touch on again if I remember. I did dwell on this statement for awhile, believing that my parents and friends would somehow forget me since I don’t come back that often. I realized how silly I was being since I can stay connected to people while away, making it that much more special when I do go home and see everyone. I don’t have less, I appreciate more.

-To continue being my loud and crazy self without remorse. Though I probably need a filter at times.

This list started out with good/organized intentions and then turned into a mish-mash of my random thoughts and experiences, which basically sums up my year of 24.