I’d like to think that I’m a happy, friendly, and mostly positive individual. Of course, I have my off days. Doesn’t everyone? In my day-to-day life, I’m usually pretty upbeat but focused on my tasks and goals.

Whether it’s for work or pleasure I read often, which naturally requires concentration. If I’m studying a sign, a menu, a work of art, I do so with a relatively blank face except for my eyes that are trying to capture the information. Even while taking a walk down the street or running I’m usually thinking about a million different things.

Why am I telling you this? I’m not quite sure, but I guess I need to get an explanation of what’s going on in my head despite what my face reads.

My main point with all of this is:

Please stop telling me to smile. 

I hate it.

Nothing makes me feel more like a child than having another adult tell me to “turn that frown upside down.” That’s not a frown; that is my face. I’m not going to smile like a serial killer with everything I do, and you know what’s not gonna make me happy if I’m sad, but at the same time can ruin my mood if it’s good? You telling me to smile.

These words of encouragement are incredibly demeaning and frustrating, especially as a young woman who’d like to be treated with respect and not have my appearance commented on.

My main problem with this scenario is that it’s normally a guy telling me to smile–and often a complete. I always hear other men telling women or girls to “smile more” or “your face looks better with a smile.” You never hear men or boys being encouraged to smile more. Women often take on the role of smiling to make others feel more comfortable, but it’s not a role we are required to fulfill.

Smiling even when you’re not happy has been proven to improve your mood, but your face doesn’t always directly relay how you’re feeling. It’s uncomfortable to force a face just to reassure others that everything is okay.

Saying this phrase to another person disregards what they may be going through at that moment and makes their feelings seem irrelevant. What if my dog just got hit by a car that day or I’m trying to figure out how to pay an exorbitant red light ticket?

I think this suggestion also emphasizes society’s need for people to appear happy all the time even when they’re not. It prevents the discussion of real feelings by plastering a smile over these not so sparkly emotions.

Instead of saying “Smile!” Why don’t you ask how I am?

If you actually think that there’s something off with me then try, “You don’t seem like yourself lately. Is everything okay?”

Better yet, do something to produce a genuine smile in another person like holding the door open, offering them to go first in a line, or saying good morning. Be the reason someone else smiles…naturally.

Rant over.

🙃🙃🙃

Oh, and Happy 2019! I’ll get back on here with some updates soon.