“Do no harm, but take no shit.”

Back in graduate school, one of my mentors introduced me to this quote. Maybe it’s the Chreaster (Christmas/Easter) Catholic in me, but I’m always surprised when I hear people in power/charge swear, so I was initially taken aback. I was also puzzled because I’d never heard the phrase before, but it was her mantra that she swore by that also happened to adorn her desk (in an edited version, of course).

My mentor was a strong and intelligent woman, who could take command of a room and wasn’t afraid to give you a mouthful of honesty, especially when you needed it. She cared about her students immensely and you could tell that they admired her too. She told me that the classroom was my stage and that no matter how I was feeling or what happened that day, the show must go on.

In moments of weakness, kindness, power, and all other scenarios, I would find myself coming back to this quote, wondering: Am I doing no harm to others? Am I not taking anyone’s shit?

Do no harm.

By doing no harm, you should be leaving people better than you found them. I’d like to think that by having an open mind and heart, I’m checking that box. Not to say that I’m perfect by any means as my sporadic road rage and RBF have shown me.

Take no shit.

This was I’m a little iffy on. Sometimes, I focus too much on the nice part and forget that I also need to be strong, so I end up taking the shit. I give people the benefit of the doubt, I kill them with kindness, I ignore their negativity. From experience, I don’t think any of that works. More and more I’m learning the importance of not taking anyone’s shit.

Being kind is a wonderful quality that everyone should have, but it doesn’t garner respect from those who lack it. You need to know when you’re being mistreated and how to react in those situations.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on some of my negative encounters with others and how I can improve them. I’m going forward trying to be more mindful of when I’m being “too nice” and when I stand my ground.

How do you go through life? Are you mindful of how you treat others and how they are treating you? How do you combat negativity?